


No Regrets (retired)

by FrankieCutsAndKisses



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Character Death, Cheating, Eren and Levi are engaged, F/F, F/M, Hanji and Armin are roomates, Levi being a dick and cheating, Levi being a dick to Hanji, Levi hating himself for cheating, Modern AU, Self Loathing, female Hanji
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-23
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-02-26 19:24:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2663480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankieCutsAndKisses/pseuds/FrankieCutsAndKisses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You never realize how much you regret something until it's too late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Petra sat alone in the lounge while she waited for Levi to finish showering. She knew deep down that this was a bad idea and that it should never have happened. But she couldn’t help herself, she wanted him. She didn’t care that he was engaged to somebody else. She wanted him and she always got what she wanted. But now that she’d had him, she felt nothing but regret. And Unbeknown to her it was about to get a whole lot worse.

Levi’s phone suddenly chimed on the coffee table in front of her, dragging her out of her thoughts.

“Can you check who that is?” She heard Levi ask from behind her, she leaned forward and grabbed the phone,

“It’s Hanji” she replied, turning around and seeing Levi stood there in nothing but a towel wrapped loosely around his hips.  Levi nodded once

“Can you answer it for me while I go get dressed?” He asked, not waiting for a response before he turned and walked into the bedroom. Petra rolled her eyes and accepted the call.

“Hello?”

“Hel- wait Petra? Why are you-? Never mind” Hanji sounded distressed, “Is Levi there?”

“Yeah but he’s busy right now. Is everything okay?” Petra asked, suddenly worried.

“Not really.” Hanji answered, “There’s been a big accident, and the victims have just been brought in.”

“What does that have to do with Levi?” Petra asked, confused.

“One of them is Eren.” 

 “Oh my god!” Petra gasped, “Is he okay?” Petra truly did like Eren, despite the fact that she’d only met him a few times she like his passion and his personality. She also liked his fiancé a lot too.

Hanji paused for a few seconds and Petra could hear her sniff

“No. He died before he got to the hospital.” She sobbed out. Tears formed in Petra’s eyes.

“Do you want me to tell Levi?” She asked

“Please. I have to go now. Can you tell Levi I’ll be over at some point tonight or tomorrow?”

“I will. Bye Hanji.” Petra hung up.

“Tell me what?” Petra jumped when she heard the voice behind her. She turned around to face him.

“Are you okay?” Levi asked, suddenly noticing the ears in her eyes. She shook her head.

“Levi, I think you’d better sit down.”

“Why?” Levi asked, crossing the room and sitting in the arm chair opposite her. 

“There was an accident.” She said quietly. Levi nodded slowly.

“And...?” He asked, urging her to continue. Petra took a deep breath.

“Eren was involved.” The colour drained from Levi’s face.

“What?” He choked out, “Is he…?”

“I’m sorry.” Petra whispered, unable to meet Levi’s eyes. “He died on the way to the hospital.”

Levi stared blankly at the wall as he felt his heart break.

“I’m sorry Levi.” She said quietly

“Get out.” Levi whispered

“What?” Petra asked

“I said get out!” Levi shouted, jumping out of his seat. The woman nodded and stood up. Just before she opened the door she turned around to face him,

“I am truly sorry, both for what happened with us and for your loss. I don’t know the details of what happened, or why it happened to him, you’ll have to ask Hanji for the details when she comes over tonight or tomorrow.”

“OUT!”  Levi yelled again. Petra nodded, sniffed back a sob and wiped her tears before she left. Levi collapsed back into the chair as sobs ripped their way out of his chest.

A few hours later Levi heard someone knock then open the front door. The short man didn’t even look up at his friend.  He just stared blankly at the wall, tear tracks drying on his cheeks.

“Levi.” Hanji said softly. Levi looked up at the woman stood in front of him. She had tears spilling down her cheeks. She knelt down in front of the man and bowed her head “I’m sorry Levi, I really am. I want you to know that we did all we could. I wish there was more we could have done, but he was already gone by the time he got to the hospital.”

Levi stared blankly at her, then nodded to show he understood.

“What happened?” He croaked out, his voice hoarse from crying.

“We’re not 100% sure, but we think a drunk driver pulled out in front of him and he couldn’t stop, then the car behind him was going too fast and hit him from the back.”

Levi nodded again as more tears slid down his cheeks.

“Why him?” Levi whispered to himself,

“I don’t know, and I wish it hadn’t happened at all. I’m so sorry for your loss, but I have to go now. I have to go and check on Armin, he had to leave work early when they brought him in. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call me.” Hanji said, pulling herself to her feet. Levi nodded as she left.

He spent all night curled up in the arm chair, avoiding going into their bedroom. He didn’t want to sleep by himself, the bed seemed too big and empty without Eren sprawled all over it. He didn’t want to smell the younger man’s scent on the sheets and pillows. He didn’t want to see all his things scattered all over the bedroom. He didn’t want to see anything that would remind him that Eren was gone. He didn’t want to be alone, he just wanted Eren back. Another round of sobs tore their way out of his chest and more tears slid down his cheeks.

The next morning Hanji went over again, she let herself in again and sighed when she saw Levi still curled up in the chair.

“Have you been here since I left last night?” She asked. The raven haired man ignored her.

“Levi?” She edged closer, then stopped when he turned his gaze on her. She gasped when she saw the circles around his eyes were even darker than usual.

“Levi have you even slept?” She asked, concerned about her best friend.

“How can I sleep when the man I love died while I was-“He cut himself off before he said too much.

“While you were…what, Levi?” Hanji asked, suddenly confused. Levi turned away from her and glared at the coffee table. He could almost hear Hanji’s brain working while she tried to figure out what had happened.

“Levi…Why were you with Petra yesterday?” She asked, already knowing the answer, the short man didn’t say a word or even look at her, but Hanji saw the guilt flash in her best friend’s eyes, “Oh Levi, you didn’t?”

“I wish that was the case. I wish I hadn’t. But I did, all because I was a stupid fucking idiot who couldn’t appreciate what he had! I regret every second of it, but it was my choice to do it and now I have to live with the consequences.” He snapped.

“How long had it been going on?”  She asked

“She’s been chasing me for months, but yesterday was the only time anything happened?” Levi replied, avoiding his friend’s gaze.

“Why?”

“Because I’m stupid. I’m a fucking idiot who couldn’t appreciate what he had, and now that he’s gone I fucking hate myself for it.” He replied. Hanji paused for a second.

“I won’t tell anyone, you have my word on that.” She said quietly, turning towards the door “but right now I have to go. I’m already running late, one more thing though.”  She turned back to face Levi, “Everyone makes mistakes Levi, Everyone has things they regret. You just have to learn to live with it. I’ll come back later, and when I’m back I want to see you out of that chair.” She left the apartment and shut the door behind her.

 

That night when Hanji came back Levi hadn’t moved.

“Levi you’ve been in that chair for nearly 24 hours now, you have to move, now.”

Levi ignored her.

“LEVI!” she snapped, “you have to move. Do you think Eren would have wanted you to be like this?!”

Levi glared at her

“I don’t know what he’d have wanted and I never will. Because he’s dead Hanji. He’s dead because you and the others at the fucking hospital didn’t do enough for him!” He snapped at her.

Hanji gasped and stepped back, he eyes filling with tears.

“Do you think that thought hadn’t already crossed my mind Levi?” She shouted, “Do you think that I slept easily last night? Because I didn’t, I spent half the night lying awake, blaming myself for his death. But you know what Levi, We did everything we fucking could for him, and I’m sorry it wasn’t enough, but it was all we COULD do” She yelled before storming out of the apartment and slamming the door behind her. 

After she’d left it took Levi a few seconds to realise what he’d said. His eyes widened and filled with tears. He pulled himself out of the chair, then fell to the ground when his legs collapsed under him. He pulled himself up and headed as quickly as he could to the door, using his furniture and walls to support him. By the time he’d opened the door, Hanji was long gone. He slammed the door shut and leaned back on it, before sliding down to the floor. He lifted his knees up to his chest and sobbed into his hands.

“Why did I say that?” He sobbed to himself, “Why” he stood up and punched the wall, still sobbing and asking himself why. Eventually he ran out of energy and just fell to the floor and sobbed.

He must have fallen asleep at some point because the next day he woke up to timid knocking on the door.

“It’s unlocked,” he called, his voice hoarse. The door opened slowly and a blonde figure shyly entered. The usually bright eyed boy looked almost as bad as Levi did. His eyes lacked their usual shine and had dark circles around them, his face was pale and hollow. Levi was so caught up in his own thought and mourning that he’d completely forgotten about Armin and Mikasa.

“Armin.” He said, standing up and walking to the younger man, “How are you?”

“I’m...” the blonde paused, “coping. What about you?”  Levi sighed and rubbed his hand over his face

“I’m not doing so well,” he admitted, “but I’ll be fine.” _Hopefully_ he added mentally. Armin nodded understandingly

“If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to call me.” It was Levi’s turn to nod

“I will.” He paused for a moment, “how’s Mikasa handling it?”

“She’s not doing so well.” Armin replied after a while, “Eren was the last family she had left, and now she’s lost him. I went to see her before I came around here, she’s….she’s not doing well at all. She looks even worse than you do… No offense.”  A small smile turned the edges of Levi’s lips up, but his eyes stayed dull and empty.

“I have to go now,” the blonde said, looking at the time, “I’m already late for work. I only came by because Hanji asked me to check on you, and to tell you that the funeral is going to be a week, today.”

Levi nodded. Even after what he’d said to her last night Hanji still cared enough about him to get someone to check up on him.

“How is Hanji?” Levi asked quietly

“I’m not sure. When she got home last night she seemed angry and upset, and when I woke up this morning she’d already left for work.” Armin replied “Why?”

“Because I said something stupid that I really shouldn’t have said. Can you ask her to come over tonight? I need to apologise to her.”

“What did you-” The blonde cut himself off, “that doesn’t matter. It’s between you and her. I’ll ask her for you Levi.”

“Thank you Armin.” Levi said quietly. Armin just nodded once and started walking towards the door, then turned around when he reached it

“I’ll talk to you later, I mean…if you want me to.” He said “And if you need anything feel free to call me.”

“You too” Armin nodded and left the apartment. Levi sighed and looked around him. Only then did it occur to him that he’d been wearing the same clothes for 3 days now. Disgusted with himself he headed into the bathroom and turned the water up to the highest temperature he could stand it. He stripped off the dirty clothes and threw them into the wash basket, before stepping into the jets of hot water and scrubbing himself clean. Once he’d finished he stepped out and wrapped a towel around him. He shivered at the cold air hitting his skin and quickly left the bathroom. He stopped in front of the bedroom door, his hand resting on the door handle. He took a deep breath and walked in. His breath caught in his throat. He headed over to his closet and pulled out some clean clothes, not even looking at what they were before he pulled them on. Once he was dressed he turned around and looked at the bed. Before he knew it he was walking towards it, he wrapped himself up in the quilt and pulled Eren’s pillow against him, breathing in his fiancé’s scent. Tears slid down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry” He whispered, “I miss you, please come back to me.”


	2. Not a chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Authors note

So I started this fic like 2 years ago, and looking back on it I've realised that I really don't like this fic. SO I've decided to rewrite it, and hopefully make it better. 

 

I started rewriting it today, and I do have some ideas for where I want to take it. So HOPEFULLY I'l get back into posting this again.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't hate me.  
> My tumblr is theshawolthatgotlostin221b if you want to follow me.


End file.
